Roseheart Rebirth

09


I've come to terms with Embracing who I am. This season of my life in dealing with personal evaluation and reflections has broadened my view on the future. I wasn't quite sure what to expect before, but now I have a clear understanding of where I'm going with my life.

I am who I know I am. Not who people think I am. I continue to believe what I believe because it made and still makes me, "Me". I've been through what I had to go through in order for me to become the best version of myself that I can be. I'm grateful for the things I have because they are the building blocks to the next level of what humanity likes to call "Growing Up". I continue to pride myself in the work that my hands engage upon because they build a legacy. My character is not defined by how I live in the light, but by what I do behind closed doors; and guess what? Yes, I still consider myself a Christian and I still live by Faith and not by Works. Yes I like to smoke and yes I like to drink. If you don't, so called - "SIN" -, then throw the first stone at me.

One of the biggest battles I have had to confront are these hidden insecurities from my past. Yet, I'm no longer ashamed of them. I've come to embrace them as my own. It's like placing a band aid where I lost a limb. I needed to learn how to continue living, moving and accepting the help from the people that care. It's safe to this that I have cleared the obstacle. Now I'm ready to take the next step. Even though I'm battered and bruised, this new height of maturity is unbelievably overwhelming. But it feels amazing!

I have officially moved out of my parents home - once again - but this time with stability and a future. Leaving them for a second time must be hard for my Mother. She hasn't been taking things very well. However, I am a man, and I need to do what I must to grow. My move in date was May 15th, 2010. Moving heavy furniture up four flights of stairs was ridiculously easier than the emotional turmoil my shoulders have been carrying for these past 5 years. But when I finished the move, the reflection of a new home with a new beginning marks the beginning of my new reborn rose. The season to embrace who I am has ended and once again, a new season arrives. The curtains close and the curtains rise to a better version of me.

I feel reborn into a world that surrounds me with life. I've grown out of childish games and desires. The thorns that wrapped my heart have been sanded off. A pulse of life has begun to beat gently in the silence as the stone begins to break. Warmth envelopes the air and my fingers begin to move. Slowly, but surely...my eyes take their very first gaze.

I'm alive again...and damn...it feels good to be back...



- This concludes Roseheart Embrace -